Use Goals to Get Your Family Ready for the New Year, Pt. 1

Jacquette M. Timmons

You eat together. You play together. You may even work in a family business together. But do you set goals together? 

Do you gather with the sole intent of a) sharing your individual and family’s goals, and b) sketching out a plan of action (think: family vacation, academic and sports activities, work and school performance, to name a few)?  

Whether you are a family of a few or of many, if you are like most families, your answer is probably a resounding “no” or a hesitant “maybe.” It’s not that you don’t actually talk about what you want or need. However, what is discussed is usually limited to the outcome or result, not the process that will actually move you from not having “X” (point A) to having it (point B). Yet, and especially given our economic times, a family that sets goals and plans for them together grows together – making each family member and the family unit as a whole stronger! (Read more)

The holidays make it an ideal time to schedule a “family goal planning” date. Depending upon how many people are involved, arrange to spend between fifteen to sixty minutes on this activity. Give each person* a chance to get clear about 2010 (what went well and what didn’t), list their goals for 2011, specify what makes the goal important to them (aka the “why”), by when, and the estimated cost. Make your list without regard to priority and without judgment; don’t filter. Leave the editing for later. After each person has shared, do the same for the family’s goals. (*Include small children; if they can complete a sentence, they should be involved.) And, it is important to resist the temptation to jump to how you’re going to accomplish the noted goal/s. We’ll cover “how” in part two; for the moment, you’re simply doing as instructed above.

One benefit of the approach I’m recommending is that it gives everyone a window into what is important to those around them. Another is that it honors the fact that at all times you have different “sets” of goals vying for attention; the family is constantly juggling and trying to find a balance between individual and collective goals – even if they aren’t consciously aware they are doing this. And finally, it keeps everyone in the loop regarding the trade-offs being made as to how the family’s resources of money and time are directed.